Breakups can be very difficult, especially if you are not the one who ended things. If your boyfriend broke up with you, but you are not ready for the relationship to be over, there are a few things that you can do to try to get him back. Going through the process of trying to get your ex back can be time consuming and it can be a lot of work. You should be prepared to be patient if you are going to be successful.
Make Sure It's Really What You Want
Before you go through all of the time and trouble to get your ex boyfriend back, you should sit down and make sure that you truly want him back. There had to be a reason that he ended things in the first place. If it was due to an argument or constant arguing, it is going to take work from both of you to make the relationship work.
It is a good idea to figure out if you want him back because he left you first and you feel rejected, or if you really don't want to live without him. If you really do want a second chance, you can move on to the next step.
Before you begin trying to get your ex boyfriend back, you need to forgive him for ending things. If you cannot, your relationship has no hope of working out. If he takes you back and you keep mentioning how he broke up with you and broke your heart, don't expect him to stick around for very long.
Give Him Some Space
After the breakup, it is important to give him some space. You need to let him see what life will be like without you. If you are constantly calling and texting him or showing up wherever he is, he won't get a chance to miss you. While it may be difficult, you need to stay away from him for a while.
Work on Yourself
Phone call is very important, therefore, you need to make sure that it goes well. The key to the first phone call is to be as breezy and casual as possible.
While you are working on giving him his space, it is a good idea to keep busy. The best way to do that is to focus on yourself. You should consider joining a gym, spending more time with your friends, or just getting back to the person you were before you met him.
If the two of you did everything together, this is a good time to learn to be independent again. If he hears through the grapevine that you are doing things with your friends and to better yourself, it could peak a new interest in you.
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The First Phone Call
After a week or two, you should make your first phone call to him.
This phone call is very important, therefore, you need to make sure that it goes well. The key to the first phone call is to be as breezy and casual as possible.
Start off the conversation by asking how he has been the past two weeks. If he had an upcoming event when you broke up, like starting a new job or a big softball game, ask him how it went.
You should avoid mentioning the breakup or how it made you feel. If you have done something new since the breakup, tell him about it. Keep things casual and keep the call short. You want to try to be the one to needs to hang up first.
If the initial phone call went well, you can start sending flirty text messages. You can start off with text messages that require no response. This will show him that you are thinking of him, but aren't acting needy and clingy. You can send a text like, “just checking to see how you are”, or “I hope you had a good day today.”
If you send these messages, don't expect a response and if you don't get one, don't get upset. If you go to a place that was special for the two of you, you can send him a text to let him know that you are there. Tell him that it brings back a lot of memories.
Be sure to add an “lol” after your sentences so that he can see that you are being flirty and not desperate. If he texts you right back, it is a good sign.
Suggest a Meeting
If the texting has been going well, you can ask him if he wants to meet up for lunch. You should start off with lunch because it is the most casual meal to share. If he says yes, you have preparations to make.
Make Yourself Beautiful
If you feel good about yourself, your confidence will radiate and he will notice it. Start by getting a hair cut or adding highlights. Anything that will make you feel more beautiful will work. You should also go out and buy a new outfit.
The way you behave during your date can either make or break your chances of getting him back. You want to avoid touchy subjects that could lead to an argument. You want him to remember how great things were in the beginning of the relationship.
Try to keep the conversation light and fun. If you run out of things to talk about, bring up happy memories of times that the two of you had spent together. The key to the lunch date is to forget about the bad times and get back to when things were good.
Obviously, the reason that you broke up needs to be addressed. If it doesn't, it will remain the elephant in the room and things can get awkward. Let him know that you are sorry for whatever you did that made him want to end things.
Before you go through all of the time and trouble to get your ex boyfriend back, you should sit down and make sure that you truly want him back.
Let him know that because he is so important to you, that you are willing to make the necessary changes to get back to the way that things were in the beginning. When he is explaining what caused him to end things, try not to get upset or insulted.
It is important that you hear him out and that you listen to him. If you can understand where he is coming from, you have a better chance of making it last if he takes you back.
If he sees that you can sit and listen without getting angry and upset, he will see that you might have grown up a bit, and maybe the relationship has a chance.
The Big Question
If the talk goes well, you should keep things rolling by asking him if the two of you have a chance of being together again. If he says no, don't give up. Gently accept his answer, but don't give up on him. Over time, he will see that you are no longer the person that you were when he broke up with you.
If he says yes, and there is hope, let him tell you how he wants things to go. If he says he wants to take it slow, accept it. If he says that he wants to jump back into the relationship where you left off, celebrate.
After You Get Back Together
When the two of you have found your way back together, you need to keep the lines of communication open. It is important to avoid falling back into old habits and making the same mistakes that you made the first time you were together. After all of the work that you put into getting him back, you don't want to lose him again.